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Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college.

Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome. People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies.

Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond.

Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics. Progressive slogan 'We s hould be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party.

Jesus saves, I just v2. Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above.

Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed. Re-educate your friends, family, and co-workers!

Sergei the Russian Colluder explica exatamente como os russos conspiraram para fazer o conluio russo. For the first time we are learning about Operation Covfefe, named after the Russian folk hero, Yuri Covfefe, who was known to have supernatural powers to influence elections.

Poor Me is a magazine dedicated to people who see themselves as victims. Read the new Trump-Comey edition - their thickest issue to date.

Challenges of being a drama queen in the age of Trump. March against fascism ends withfewer deaths than expected Hillary to victims: From woke to broke in one easy step Top 10 methods to make the world feel guilty and apologize LeBron James needs a day without white people: Comey, 56, demonstrates on doll where he feared Trump was going to touch him.

In a dramatic stroke of brilliance and keen journalistic instinct, or perhaps outright laziness, we decided to start from the back. Here's what we found.

Hospital stays exceeding two days require patient-provided bedpans and light bulbs. Co-pays are now tracked by as a Wall Street investment index.

Half off Abortion-Tuesdays at Family Dollar stores everywhere. School lunch programs shall include Soylent Green Fridays. As a member of the white male hetero Christian class my peoples have been ruling the world far to long.

It is only fitting that I and my ilk get a taste of our own medicine and accept our demotion in exchange for the promotion of the victim class.

The only v2. We shall vocally praise the oppressed, admit our sins and accept our lashings. When we are ordered to leave our campuses because of our news we shall do so with a smile.

When we are reminded of our privilege we shall accept it with a tear. Equality before the law is not the goal. Lady Justice is not blind, comrade.

Her eyes are open and her scales are now tipped accordingly. That is the "Democratic Ideal" for which we now must live. Early this morning President Trump challenged the nation to discover the true meaning of "covfefe.

Just some pictures and headlines: An academic study from researchers at Brunel University London assessed men, looking at their height, weight, overall physical strength and bicep circumference, along with their views on redistribution of wealth and income inequality.

Back when I lived in New York I went shopping for a modern-looking microfiber jacket suitable for cool weather. I visited a dozen boutique stores in Manhattan, trying on a variety of nice-looking jackets.

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The world's best known dealmaker-turned-president showed that when it comes to real estate, nobody out-negotiate s the Trumpster.

The president met trader with Pope Francis, whom Trump described quantina a "…very, very nice man. Very hospitable," before agreeing on a price for the Vatican.

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Do you hate Donald Trump? Is your lifelong dream to destroy his presidency? Do you live for nothing else these days? Are you looking for a flexible job that requires little effort while allowing you to be as outrageous as you want?

Do you enjoy throwing stuff at the wall and watching it slide down to the floor leaving a trail v2.

Harvard University has download a new dress code that defines ties, a traditional male dress accessory, as a symbol of oppression, chauvinism, and hate speech.

Komrades, I made this little vid where Ragnar Lothbrok gets a glimpse of his people's nightmarish future that is 21st century Sweden. It has no major spoilers from the show "Vikings".

For thousands of years, since the end o f the Ice Age, international workers gathered in their caves on May Day to organize, protest, and represent.

They sat around bonfires chanting Party-approved slogans and denouncing U. Every year the changing Current Truth called for different slogans, which were promptly provided to the masses by this glorious Party Organ.

And this year is no different. See the most current, updated, and expanded list of slogans for May Day A sad day today.

I demand a Congressional investigation. Surely Trump has colluded with the Russians to hack our weather in order to make those of us on the side of Truth, Justice and The Socialist Way look bad.

Her search for other icons that she can threaten with her icy stare and bravado is taking her on a world-wide excursion. On April 22, and the battlecry of Earth Day resounding through the canyons of our metropoles, Science will march in the front row!

The little girl's armpit hair is especially disturbing. I understand it must be a nod to feminism, and far be it from me to dictate rules of body hygiene to any women and their consenting partners.

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In we told the world that "We only have ten years left to save the planet. Then during the election season our Holy Prophet Who Has Never Been Wrong, Al Gorski Muslim name: So, inprophet al-goreeza issued another fatwa You may be like many Americans, and just not sure what you should be outraged about and which side to pick.

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Retailers did not consider the fact that v2. Twelve years ago today, on April 1,this Party Organ was launched out of an undisclosed bunker and swiftly rose over the horizon like the red hexahedron-shaped sun of the revolution, bringing the light of Party-approved thought straight out of the Motherland to the toiling masses of the darkened, non-socialist parts of planet Earth.

San Francisco, CA -- 81 year old Cynthia Cunningham was hospitalized during the early morning hours today after she was found barely conscious in Target department store women's restroom.

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When you see something in the news or on social media that matches something on the card, check it off! Welcome to the People's Cube clearing house for all the latest, scandalous, fascist, and Russian outrages of the Trump administration.

What is the latest, breathless, gotta-tell-it-now scandal that defies credulity? Can you believe he's actually being considered for the Supreme Court?

Yeah, that's not racist sarcasm! Because the Orthodox Church's calendar is two news behind the Western calendar, the celebration is being scheduled on March 30th, almost two weeks after the drinking has wrapped up in the rest of the world.

This means that Russia's million-strong population will be carousing on the 17th when everyone else does it, and then on the 30th I know it is hard to imagine living a day without being reminded of the sensitivities and abuses faced by our perpetually aggrieved brethren but I am in desperate need of "A Day Without Guilt.

Please help me complete our day schedule. Dear oppressed women and non-women who identify as females! On this wonderful spring holiday the Party takes a day off from the usual revolutionary struggle in order to celebrate all the international contributions to social justice made by self-identified female-gendered persons and wishes for them to crush their oppressors anywhere they can find them - and get even!

We will never have a truly equal society until we can eliminate Penis Envy by eliminating the penis. The prevailing media messaging of the time was captured in these war pr opaganda posters.

Things have changed in the last hundred years, and so has the media messaging. This raises some questions: Who comes up with this new messaging?

Who is the target? What is it aimed to accomplish? Could any nation survive forex Because while the messaging has changed, the world hasn't If today's New York Times editors had been in charge in strumming harp music A likely illegal publication of a private German telegram to culturally diverse Hispanic and Oriental leaders causes rage, Teutophobia among white alt-right U.

The telegram, which legal experts caution may be illegal for citizens to read An unnamed teacher in Massachusetts, believing that her students were as shocked by Trump's election as she was, posted these equality-enforcement trader on the classroom wall.

It must be very reassuring for "Latino a " students to see a daily reminder that they are not rapists or drug dealers. The same goes for Muslim students who supposedly need to be reminded that they are not terrorists in case they forget.

Black students are probably expected to feel grateful for being sheltered from certain death that lurks outside; paranoia is always good for morale.

It is the dawn of the Trump era. The deep state, also known as "a state within a state" is in danger of being drained.

In Washington, DC, an elite group of career government bureaucrats bands together to issue the squeal of a lifetime. The sabotage of Trump and his troops serves as the backdrop for the gripping story about self-serving pen pushers who put the entire country's future on the line to defend their swamp, trough, and the deep state from Trump's swamp-draining forces.

Despite inconclusive evidence and ignoring the possible ramifications, the deep state orders the attack Each February, film fans around the world turn their attention to the Academy Awards called "The Oscars.

We've saturated ourselves with popcorn while watching entertaining "snowflake" routines since Election Day, and it only gets better. We've got free entertainment!

We've watched more liberal meltdowns on YouTube than movies. We get excited and well… forget the cinema! I'm staying home to watch the liberals!

Comrade Psychiatrist is unhappy with Mr. And while the Soviet Union has gone the way of the dodo, its glorious socialist legacy is still up for the picking.

One of these unparalleled Soviet achievements is the use of psychiatry to silence dissent and delegitimize political opposition Because this is about People.

People download are fighting fascism. People who want only to take back the democracy that last November 8th was ripped from us as if we were raped—which, in a sens e, we were.

Is it just me, or do you also wonder how liberals can possibly function, let alone win elections?

This lump in their heads, they refer to it as a mind, is made news absurdities, inconsistencies and contradictions.

How is possible to hold so many mutually exclusive beliefs? Scientists have discovered that both love and hate originate in the same nervous circuits in the brain.

They are, in fact, secret and subversive codes of hatred, used by a world-wide conspiracy of fascists, known as the The Utility Workers' Army, whose hidden agenda is Orange Supremacy.

Thanks to the eagle eye of Sarah Silverman, the secret signs of the Trump Nazi Illuminati have been trader.

Orange is the new white. But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken.

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Nordstrom stores - among others - recently stopped carrying Ivanka Trump's wares. They claim that this decision is not at all politically motivated, but strictly a result of lagging sales.

Nordstrom swears their Ivanka Trump dump has nothing to do with a boycott campaign waged by a random marketing consultant, under the hashtag GrabYourWallet.

The timing that Ivanka's sales lagged around the same time her father became close to winning the election, which is also when the boycott campaign ramped up, but not a moment before, is purely coincidental.

Armed with a baseball bat and wearing a fashionable rioting unisex ensemble, Flat Antifa is looking for some fascism to smash. Fascism is anything that Flat Antifa doesn't understand.

It needs to be smashed. Fascists are those who refuse to conform to Flat Antifa's non-conformism. They need to be smashed. Included on the list of things to smash are gender fascism, sexist fascism, racist fascism, homo-fascism, hetero-fascism, bi-fascism, trans-fascism, adult fascism, and parental fascism.

Help Flat Antifa find more fascism to smash. Hooters announced today that they are preparing to hire 10, Muslim refugee women in a show of support to the immigrant community and in a display of solidarity with other American companies that have offered similar support.

Hooters joins the list of companies such as Starbucks, which has also offered to hire 10, refugees instead of veterans or unemployed Americans, as well as AirBNB, which has offered to house these immigrants.

This is the only way that they could have won the Superbowl. It has been determined that he did it to make Trump's team victorious.

Women and minorities have been hardest hit by this latest defeat. You may have seen the recent fake news that the Statue of Liberty was originally meant to be a womyn of the Religion of Peace: All of which is Well and Good.

But it only scratches the surface. Outspoken comedian Sarah Silverman thinks that Trump voters are racist, she said yesterday while wearing blackface makeup to emphasize her point.

Later, after working herself up into some kind of frenzy, Silverman appeared to call for a military coup in a tweet, while protests against Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos turned violent after Soros' and the DNC's minions attacked people with shovels and clubs while burning things and breaking windows.

These 'activists' are so literally the products of modern philosophy that someone should cry to all the university administrations and faculties: Famous Tweets in chronological order: Beyonce has announced today that she is pregnant with two Donald Trump's babies at once, with experts predicting that this may inadvertently set the tone for the entire V2.

The year-old singer was disappointed that her previous pregnancy photo on Instagram only gathered 6, likes, 17, tweets, and some anemic media coverage at such lame old news organizations as The New York Times, LA Times, US Weekly, Chicago Tribune, and similar media holdouts, with not a single picture or a word about her in places where it really counts - Breitbart, Fox News It will be raised every time there is a call to "arms" for hugging.

I haven't quite figured out yet what this flag should be called. This humble Kommisar welcomes the contributions of the most equal masses for the christening dedication of this new Reciprocating Trump's MuslimBan, the CEO of Starbucks has vowed to start a campaign of discrimination against US citizens by hiring 10, Muslim refugees instead of the usual local applicants as baristas.

This, in turn, was immediately reciprocated by a call to BoycottStarbucks by Trump supporters, who claim that Starbucks is quantina overhyped watering hole for pompous white Subaru-driving liberals in yoga pants.

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Citizenship from these countries does not equal Muslim. But a travel ban of these countries' citizens is a ban of all Muslims. But we don't really want Saudi Arabians to be banned, because it is trader Muslim-majority After the tragic loss of life in the Quebec mosque shooting of January the 29th, it warms our hearts to witness the correct response we expect in such situations.

Major news outlets were quick to point out that the current prime suspect, a certain Mr. Buissonette, had serious mental issues and work-related traumas that may have caused him to act irrationally.

To stress the "lone wolf" character of this attack, no links were made with other anti-Muslim actions or protests in the past that have no proven connection to this incident.

To avoid stigmatising any demographic, prime minister Trudeau did not immediately describe this "event" as terrorism.

Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new protest? Trump is here and the time is right for protesting in the street!

Enclosed in your hijab, you can, in the name of women's rights, proudly stand up and be a warrior against Trump's War on Women.

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It's simple common sense: Speaking to Harper's Bazaar, Madonna described focusing on Trump's image on the TV screen while casting magic spells as her agent and friend recited verses from the Quran.

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Arrested Development comes to mind. Turns out, they are the police and they soon take him away in handcuffs. If Shia sells the rights to this episode, that should probably cover the medical bill from the upcoming month in the rehab.?

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Iranian actress Taraneh Alidoosti has recently vowed to boycott the Academy Awards ceremony as a protest of Illegitimate President Donald Trump's illegitimate proposal to illegitimately suspend visas for citizens of some African and Middle Eastern nations.

Alidoosti, who appears in the Oscar-nominated The Salesmanpoints out that foreign travelers to the United States have a right to come and go as they please without the illegitimate interference of the U.

Her announcement has larger implications: Lawyers for Hillary Clinton today announced that they are initiating legal action against Satan for breach of contract.

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Satan's representative, George Soros, declared download the promise was made in New York City and that she will have to settle for mayor.

Following yesterday's Inauguration, half a million American women put on their pink "pussyhats" and marched on Washington, D. Organized by Planned Parenthood, Council for American-Islamic Relations, the Communist Quantina, and other progressive movements, American women came to Donald Trump's doorstep to express their anger, fury, indignation, and outrage over the fact that they can't name a single right that men have and women don't.

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The as yet unidentified year-old Californian used an unidentified accelerant and a lighter in an unsuccessful attempt to flambe himself for social justice.

It was unclear if the man was insane or simply a very dedicated demonstrator. Given his disinclination to fully combust he is unlikely to have been an Eagle Scout.

A letter to all entertainers performing at Trump's inauguration: We are the party of love. We've told you that over and over again, but you just don't seem to get it, so we have no other choice but to send you this anonymous death threat.

How DARE you reject our love? You forced our hand and now we must teach you that if you don't do what we say, that means you don't love us.

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My transgression and my cat's transgression: Years ago, Dear Leader's glorious face graced the cover of the magazine Fast Company.

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Just some pictures and headlines: An academic study from researchers at Brunel University London assessed men, looking at their height, weight, overall physical strength and bicep circumference, along with their views on redistribution of wealth and income inequality.

Back when I lived in New York I went shopping for a modern-looking microfiber jacket suitable for cool weather. I visited a dozen boutique stores in Manhattan, trying on a variety of nice-looking jackets.

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The world's best known dealmaker-turned-president showed that when it comes to real estate, nobody out-negotiate s the Trumpster.

The president met trader with Pope Francis, whom Trump described quantina a "…very, very nice man. Very hospitable," before agreeing on a price for the Vatican.

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Do you hate Donald Trump? Is your lifelong dream to destroy his presidency? Do you live for nothing else these days? Are you looking for a flexible job that requires little effort while allowing you to be as outrageous as you want?

Do you enjoy throwing stuff at the wall and watching it slide down to the floor leaving a trail v2. Harvard University has download a new dress code that defines ties, a traditional male dress accessory, as a symbol of oppression, chauvinism, and hate speech.

Komrades, I made this little vid where Ragnar Lothbrok gets a glimpse of his people's nightmarish future that is 21st century Sweden.

It has no major spoilers from the show "Vikings". For thousands of years, since the end o f the Ice Age, international workers gathered in their caves on May Day to organize, protest, and represent.

They sat around bonfires chanting Party-approved slogans and denouncing U. Every year the changing Current Truth called for different slogans, which were promptly provided to the masses by this glorious Party Organ.

And this year is no different. See the most current, updated, and expanded list of slogans for May Day A sad day today.

I demand a Congressional investigation. Surely Trump has colluded with the Russians to hack our weather in order to make those of us on the side of Truth, Justice and The Socialist Way look bad.

Her search for other icons that she can threaten with her icy stare and bravado is taking her on a world-wide excursion. On April 22, and the battlecry of Earth Day resounding through the canyons of our metropoles, Science will march in the front row!

The little girl's armpit hair is especially disturbing. I understand it must be a nod to feminism, and far be it from me to dictate rules of body hygiene to any women and their consenting partners.

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In we told the world that "We only have ten years left to save the planet. Then during the election season our Holy Prophet Who Has Never Been Wrong, Al Gorski Muslim name: So, inprophet al-goreeza issued another fatwa You may be like many Americans, and just not sure what you should be outraged about and which side to pick.

But wait no longer! When to feel triggered! Which side to choose! When to choose the other side! How to vent your righteous anger!

Where to go for t-shirts and matching placards! Progressive social media protest calendaring function! United Airlines will not be beat, even if you take their seat.

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Retailers did not consider the fact that v2. Twelve years ago today, on April 1,this Party Organ was launched out of an undisclosed bunker and swiftly rose over the horizon like the red hexahedron-shaped sun of the revolution, bringing the light of Party-approved thought straight out of the Motherland to the toiling masses of the darkened, non-socialist parts of planet Earth.

San Francisco, CA -- 81 year old Cynthia Cunningham was hospitalized during the early morning hours today after she was found barely conscious in Target department store women's restroom.

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The frail customer with poor eyesight and a weak bladder was recorded on security cameras rushing into the restroom a half-hour before the store closed trader to not emerge until EMTs carried her out To play, keep the card by your computer as you read the news and social media reaction to the attack.

When you see something in the news or on social media that matches something on the card, check it off! Welcome to the People's Cube clearing house for all the latest, scandalous, fascist, and Russian outrages of the Trump administration.

What is the latest, breathless, gotta-tell-it-now scandal that defies credulity? Can you believe he's actually being considered for the Supreme Court?

Yeah, that's not racist sarcasm! Because the Orthodox Church's calendar is two news behind the Western calendar, the celebration is being scheduled on March 30th, almost two weeks after the drinking has wrapped up in the rest of the world.

This means that Russia's million-strong population will be carousing on the 17th when everyone else does it, and then on the 30th I know it is hard to imagine living a day without being reminded of the sensitivities and abuses faced by our perpetually aggrieved brethren but I am in desperate need of "A Day Without Guilt.

Please help me complete our day schedule. Dear oppressed women and non-women who identify as females! On this wonderful spring holiday the Party takes a day off from the usual revolutionary struggle in order to celebrate all the international contributions to social justice made by self-identified female-gendered persons and wishes for them to crush their oppressors anywhere they can find them - and get even!

We will never have a truly equal society until we can eliminate Penis Envy by eliminating the penis. The prevailing media messaging of the time was captured in these war pr opaganda posters.

Things have changed in the last hundred years, and so has the media messaging. This raises some questions: Who comes up with this new messaging?

Who is the target? What is it aimed to accomplish? Could any nation survive forex Because while the messaging has changed, the world hasn't If today's New York Times editors had been in charge in strumming harp music A likely illegal publication of a private German telegram to culturally diverse Hispanic and Oriental leaders causes rage, Teutophobia among white alt-right U.

The telegram, which legal experts caution may be illegal for citizens to read An unnamed teacher in Massachusetts, believing that her students were as shocked by Trump's election as she was, posted these equality-enforcement trader on the classroom wall.

It must be very reassuring for "Latino a " students to see a daily reminder that they are not rapists or drug dealers.

The same goes for Muslim students who supposedly need to be reminded that they are not terrorists in case they forget.

Black students are probably expected to feel grateful for being sheltered from certain death that lurks outside; paranoia is always good for morale.

It is the dawn of the Trump era. The deep state, also known as "a state within a state" is in danger of being drained. In Washington, DC, an elite group of career government bureaucrats bands together to issue the squeal of a lifetime.

The sabotage of Trump and his troops serves as the backdrop for the gripping story about self-serving pen pushers who put the entire country's future on the line to defend their swamp, trough, and the deep state from Trump's swamp-draining forces.

Despite inconclusive evidence and ignoring the possible ramifications, the deep state orders the attack Each February, film fans around the world turn their attention to the Academy Awards called "The Oscars.

We've saturated ourselves with popcorn while watching entertaining "snowflake" routines since Election Day, and it only gets better.

We've got free entertainment! We've watched more liberal meltdowns on YouTube than movies. We get excited and well… forget the cinema!

I'm staying home to watch the liberals! Comrade Psychiatrist is unhappy with Mr. And while the Soviet Union has gone the way of the dodo, its glorious socialist legacy is still up for the picking.

One of these unparalleled Soviet achievements is the use of psychiatry to silence dissent and delegitimize political opposition Because this is about People.

People download are fighting fascism. People who want only to take back the democracy that last November 8th was ripped from us as if we were raped—which, in a sens e, we were.

Is it just me, or do you also wonder how liberals can possibly function, let alone win elections? This lump in their heads, they refer to it as a mind, is made news absurdities, inconsistencies and contradictions.

How is possible to hold so many mutually exclusive beliefs? Scientists have discovered that both love and hate originate in the same nervous circuits in the brain.

They are, in fact, secret and subversive codes of hatred, used by a world-wide conspiracy of fascists, known as the The Utility Workers' Army, whose hidden agenda is Orange Supremacy.

Thanks to the eagle eye of Sarah Silverman, the secret signs of the Trump Nazi Illuminati have been trader. Orange is the new white.

But it also offers an opportunity to meet the authoritarian oppressor of your dreams, provided that the proper precautions are taken. Whether you are a young starry-eyed Utopian or have been around the eastern bloc for a while, everyone can benefit from these tips and guidelines for safe dictator-dating procedures.

Nordstrom stores - among others - recently stopped carrying Ivanka Trump's wares. They claim that this decision is not at all politically motivated, but strictly a result of lagging sales.

Nordstrom swears their Ivanka Trump dump has nothing to do with a boycott campaign waged by a random marketing consultant, under the hashtag GrabYourWallet.

The timing that Ivanka's sales lagged around the same time her father became close to winning the election, which is also when the boycott campaign ramped up, but not a moment before, is purely coincidental.

Armed with a baseball bat and wearing a fashionable rioting unisex ensemble, Flat Antifa is looking for some fascism to smash. Fascism is anything that Flat Antifa doesn't understand.

It needs to be smashed. Fascists are those who refuse to conform to Flat Antifa's non-conformism. They need to be smashed. Included on the list of things to smash are gender fascism, sexist fascism, racist fascism, homo-fascism, hetero-fascism, bi-fascism, trans-fascism, adult fascism, and parental fascism.

Help Flat Antifa find more fascism to smash. Hooters announced today that they are preparing to hire 10, Muslim refugee women in a show of support to the immigrant community and in a display of solidarity with other American companies that have offered similar support.

Hooters joins the list of companies such as Starbucks, which has also offered to hire 10, refugees instead of veterans or unemployed Americans, as well as AirBNB, which has offered to house these immigrants.

This is the only way that they could have won the Superbowl. It has been determined that he did it to make Trump's team victorious. Women and minorities have been hardest hit by this latest defeat.

You may have seen the recent fake news that the Statue of Liberty was originally meant to be a womyn of the Religion of Peace: All of which is Well and Good.

But it only scratches the surface. Outspoken comedian Sarah Silverman thinks that Trump voters are racist, she said yesterday while wearing blackface makeup to emphasize her point.

Later, after working herself up into some kind of frenzy, Silverman appeared to call for a military coup in a tweet, while protests against Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos turned violent after Soros' and the DNC's minions attacked people with shovels and clubs while burning things and breaking windows.

These 'activists' are so literally the products of modern philosophy that someone should cry to all the university administrations and faculties: Famous Tweets in chronological order: Beyonce has announced today that she is pregnant with two Donald Trump's babies at once, with experts predicting that this may inadvertently set the tone for the entire V2.

The year-old singer was disappointed that her previous pregnancy photo on Instagram only gathered 6, likes, 17, tweets, and some anemic media coverage at such lame old news organizations as The New York Times, LA Times, US Weekly, Chicago Tribune, and similar media holdouts, with not a single picture or a word about her in places where it really counts - Breitbart, Fox News It will be raised every time there is a call to "arms" for hugging.

I haven't quite figured out yet what this flag should be called. This humble Kommisar welcomes the contributions of the most equal masses for the christening dedication of this new Reciprocating Trump's MuslimBan, the CEO of Starbucks has vowed to start a campaign of discrimination against US citizens by hiring 10, Muslim refugees instead of the usual local applicants as baristas.

This, in turn, was immediately reciprocated by a call to BoycottStarbucks by Trump supporters, who claim that Starbucks is quantina overhyped watering hole for pompous white Subaru-driving liberals in yoga pants.

That is an outrageously divisive statement because it excludes unicyclists and Prius drivers, whose vehicles are equipped with three turn signals: There is a chart circulating quantina internet, showing the numbers of American citizens killed by Middle Easterners since The purpose of this chart is to persuade us that President Trump is banning people from the wrong countries.

Citizenship from these countries does not equal Muslim. But a travel ban of these countries' citizens is a ban of all Muslims.

But we don't really want Saudi Arabians to be banned, because it is trader Muslim-majority After the tragic loss of life in the Quebec mosque shooting of January the 29th, it warms our hearts to witness the correct response we expect in such situations.

Major news outlets were quick to point out that the current prime suspect, a certain Mr. Buissonette, had serious mental issues and work-related traumas that may have caused him to act irrationally.

To stress the "lone wolf" character of this attack, no links were made with other anti-Muslim actions or protests in the past that have no proven connection to this incident.

To avoid stigmatising any demographic, prime minister Trudeau did not immediately describe this "event" as terrorism.

Calling out around the world, are you ready for a brand new protest? Trump is here and the time is right for protesting in the street! Enclosed in your hijab, you can, in the name of women's rights, proudly stand up and be a warrior against Trump's War on Women.

Join millions of like-minded women in smashing the patriarchy, achieving freedom from male domination and oppression, fighting for gender-justice, and checking based on skin tone your white privilege.

It's simple common sense: Speaking to Harper's Bazaar, Madonna described focusing on Trump's image on the TV screen while casting magic spells as her agent and friend recited verses from the Quran.

In the end, her mystical witchcraft backfired. Trump defeated Clinton, and Madonna became a hideous little monster instead.

Months later the transmogrified celebrity is still struggling to accept what has happened: This feels like a pilot for an absurdist comedy, or at least a TV skit.

Arrested Development comes to mind. Turns out, they are the police and they soon take him away in handcuffs. If Shia sells the rights to this episode, that should probably cover the medical bill from the upcoming month in the rehab.?

It's only Trump's second full day on the job, and already he has drawn international criticism: Download his decision, President Trump told reporters, "Look, I know it's controversial, blah, blah, blah.

But to me trader genius. It's what I campaigned on, and I'm gonna make it happen in the first days. Senate, Chuck Schumer rushed to a microphone.

Lets blow up the patriarchal government and replace it with a governwomynt! Attending a Trumphitler protest? That Guy Fawkes mask is "old hat! Don't be laughed at!

Show your comrades just how revolutionary and equal you can be by wearing the latest thing in Protest-wear! Madonna is more revolutionary, more nasty, more disease-ridden than that old But just like Guy Fawkes, she too wants to blow up the seat of government.

Available now at your local Protest Supplies store. Ask about the special limited-edition with bonus vial of Madonna's actual menstrual blood.

Iranian actress Taraneh Alidoosti has recently vowed to boycott the Academy Awards ceremony as a protest of Illegitimate President Donald Trump's illegitimate proposal to illegitimately suspend visas for citizens of some African and Middle Eastern nations.

Alidoosti, who appears in the Oscar-nominated The Salesmanpoints out that foreign travelers to the United States have a right to come and go as they please without the illegitimate interference of the U.

Her announcement has larger implications: Lawyers for Hillary Clinton today announced that they are initiating legal action against Satan for breach of contract.

They are demanding that he return the soul of Hillary Clinton who was promised the highest office in the land for her soul.

Satan's representative, George Soros, declared download the promise was made in New York City and that she will have to settle for mayor. Following yesterday's Inauguration, half a million American women put on their pink "pussyhats" and marched on Washington, D.

Organized by Planned Parenthood, Council for American-Islamic Relations, the Communist Quantina, and other progressive movements, American women came to Donald Trump's doorstep to express their anger, fury, indignation, and outrage over the fact that they can't name a single right that men have and women don't.

New lyrics - updated and improved: That's great it starts like an earthquake cargo snakes on aeroplane And Tammy Bruce is not v2.

The as yet unidentified year-old Californian used an unidentified accelerant and a lighter in an unsuccessful attempt to flambe himself for social justice.

It was unclear if the man was insane or simply a very dedicated demonstrator. Given his disinclination to fully combust he is unlikely to have been an Eagle Scout.

A letter to all entertainers performing at Trump's inauguration: We are the party of love. We've told you that over and over again, but you just don't seem to get it, so we have no other choice but to send you this anonymous death threat.

How DARE you reject our love? You forced our hand and now we must teach you that if you don't do what we say, that means you don't love us.

And you're supposed to love us. We are tolerant and inclusive and if you don't agree with us, you must be silenced! My transgression and my cat's transgression: Years ago, Dear Leader's glorious face graced the cover of the magazine Fast Company.

I failed to frame it and put it on the wall so I could bow as I walked by. I left it on the couch Naturally, I mandated the cat to take eight weeks of diversity and sensitivity training President Obama awarded himself the prestigious, 'Distinguished Public Service Medal' on Wednesday, January 4th, During his teary-eyed presentation speech, he referred to himself some 97 times while gloriously expounding on his many accomplishments, performances and outstanding golf games.

Through tears of joy during the acceptance speech, he referred to himself another times expounding upon his many successes and how smart he is.

We breathlessly await more medals of this type to be quantina to Barack Obama. MOSCOW -- Following Buzzfeed's "golden showers" expose regarding president-elect Trump's alleged escapades in a Moscow hotel, Vladimir Putin held a ceremony in the Kremlin, giving golden medals to a group of heroic Russian women who served the Motherland in the course of this operation.

Why would he leave them for unvetted females with a lowered sense of social responsibility? Don't miss this post-election fire sale as the Clinton Foundation closes its doors and lays off its non-unionized employees.

A behind the scenes look at how Pee-Gate really happened. We have long known that right-wing people are better looking, smarter, happier, and even have a better sex life without demanding that the government pays for their contraceptives.

No one knew how to effectively argue that fact, deny it, rationalize it, or turn it into an asset - until now.

A groundbreaking scientific research has finally answered the most puzzling question of the Universe: Why would anyone in their right mind ever vote for a right-winger?

As a v2. Once again the mainstream media is trickling out details, one drip at a time People PAY to get their beds wet?

I know some folks with pure talent. The search for prostitutes who peed on Obama's bed has been narrowed down to one suspect The People's Cube entry has just been purged from Wikipedia.

We are now officially a non-site populated by non-persons sharing non-thoughts and making non-jokes. It makes me feel right at home, back in the Soviet Union, where an invisible hand obstructed any of my efforts to manifest my existence.

No visibility means no responsibility. Out of sight, out of mind. As a linguistic experiment, scientists once had "out of sight, out of mind" translated into Russian and then back into English.

The phrase returned as "invisible lunatics. No need to think now, non-people. The Wiki-progs have turned us into invisible lunatics.

Headline story and Trigger Warning! Dear President Obama, I would like to take the time to honestly thank you from the bottom of my heart for having a huge hand in creating the greatest age for satire that the world has ever seen.

But aside from that, there is so much more to be thankful for. I believe that I also speak for countless college-educated people when I say that during the dusk of your presidency we should take the time to list some of the amazing things you have done and to reflect upon them.

When we first saw this headline, we thought it was yet another sati rical spoof about Snopes, v2. We've had a few spates with Snopes in the past.

Additionally, you may not be aware that several countries are? The European Union didn't exist and neither did China's economic powerhouse.

The Berlin wall had just come down and Germany had finally reunited. Hillary Clinton was a little-known mouthy First Lady of Arkansas and the media gleefully predicted that Donald Trump would never climb back to the top after his Atlantic City fiasco.

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